The solution is to become your own loving parent

As ACA becomes a safe place for you, you will find freedom to express all the hurts and fears you have kept inside and to free yourself from the shame and blame that are carryovers from the past. You will become an adult who is imprisoned no longer by childhood reactions. You will recover the child within you, learning to accept and love yourself.

The healing begins when we risk moving out of isolation. Feelings and buried memories will return. By gradually releasing the burden of unexpressed grief, we slowly move out of the past. We learn to re-parent ourselves with gentleness, humor, love and respect.

This process allows us to see our biological parents as the instruments of our existence. Our actual parent is a Higher Power whom some of us choose to call God. Although we had alcoholic or dysfunctional parents, our Higher Power gave us the Twelve Steps of Recovery.

This is the action and work that heals us: we use the Steps; we use the meetings; we use the telephone. We share our experience, strength, and hope with each other. We learn to restructure our sick thinking one day at a time. When we release our parents from responsibility for our actions today, we become free to make healthful decisions as actors, not reactors. We progress from hurting, to healing, to helping. We awaken to a sense of wholeness we never knew was possible.

By attending these meetings on a regular basis, you will come to see parental alcoholism or family dysfunction for what it is: a disease that infected you as a child and continues to affect you as an adult. You will learn to keep the focus on yourself in the here and now. You will take responsibility for your own life and supply your own parenting.

You will not do this alone. Look around you and you will see others who know how you feel. We will love and encourage you no matter what. We ask you to accept us just as we accept you.

This is a spiritual program based on action coming from love. We are sure that as the love grows inside you, you will see beautiful changes in all your relationships, especially with God, yourself, and your parents.

Copyright © 2018 by Adult Children
of Alcoholics / Dysfunctional Families
World Service Organization, Inc.
All rights reserved


August 22nd Meditation of the Day

PTSD "PTSD is a condition of the body and mind in which a person stores the memory of a violent attack or life-threatening event." BRB p. 344 When we got to ACA, we knew our minds and emotions were affected, but our bodies? We saw that the literature talked about how...

August 21st Meditation of the Day

Inner Drugs "Because we were raised in chaotic or controlling homes, our internal compass is oriented toward excitement, pain, and shame. This inner world can be described as an ‘inside drug store.' The shelves are stocked with bottles of excitement, toxic shame,...

August 20th Meditation of the Day

Survival Traits "The safe harbor we find in ACA meetings is the starting point for transforming our survival traits." BRB p. 112 The dysfunction we grew up with grabbed hold of many of us with such powerful claws that we learned to perform to suit the needs of others....

July 26th Meditation of the Day

Step Two "Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity." BRB p. 130 Our parents had been our gods. This is normal for children because parents are their primary support system. As adults, many of us had not progressed past this stage...

July 25 Meditation of the Day

Feelings "People want recovery, but they prefer it be pain free. That is understandable, but unfortunately, identifying and feeling our feelings is a part of healing." BRB Introduction p. xxiii "Feelings? What are those?!" As children from dysfunctional homes, if we...

July 24th Meditation if the Day

Indecision "Children of alcoholics are paralyzed by indecision when trying to separate emotionally from their homes." BRB p. 87 When we started telling our story in ACA, we may have felt like we were betraying everything we had ever known, and we were - but that was...

July 23rd Meditation For The Day

Grief and Childhood  "Genuine grieving for our childhood ends our morbid fascination with the past and lets us return to the present, free to live as adults. Confronting years of pain and loss at first seems overwhelming." BRB p. 83 We may have been going to...