The solution is to become your own loving parent

As ACA becomes a safe place for you, you will find freedom to express all the hurts and fears you have kept inside and to free yourself from the shame and blame that are carryovers from the past. You will become an adult who is imprisoned no longer by childhood reactions. You will recover the child within you, learning to accept and love yourself.

The healing begins when we risk moving out of isolation. Feelings and buried memories will return. By gradually releasing the burden of unexpressed grief, we slowly move out of the past. We learn to re-parent ourselves with gentleness, humor, love and respect.

This process allows us to see our biological parents as the instruments of our existence. Our actual parent is a Higher Power whom some of us choose to call God. Although we had alcoholic or dysfunctional parents, our Higher Power gave us the Twelve Steps of Recovery.

This is the action and work that heals us: we use the Steps; we use the meetings; we use the telephone. We share our experience, strength, and hope with each other. We learn to restructure our sick thinking one day at a time. When we release our parents from responsibility for our actions today, we become free to make healthful decisions as actors, not reactors. We progress from hurting, to healing, to helping. We awaken to a sense of wholeness we never knew was possible.

By attending these meetings on a regular basis, you will come to see parental alcoholism or family dysfunction for what it is: a disease that infected you as a child and continues to affect you as an adult. You will learn to keep the focus on yourself in the here and now. You will take responsibility for your own life and supply your own parenting.

You will not do this alone. Look around you and you will see others who know how you feel. We will love and encourage you no matter what. We ask you to accept us just as we accept you.

This is a spiritual program based on action coming from love. We are sure that as the love grows inside you, you will see beautiful changes in all your relationships, especially with God, yourself, and your parents.

Copyright © 2018 by Adult Children
of Alcoholics / Dysfunctional Families
World Service Organization, Inc.
All rights reserved

Meditations

September 1st Meditation of the Day

Surrender "We must find a way to surrender and to become teachable." BRB p. 156 At each meeting, we see ourselves in the ACA Problem as it is read aloud. We identify with the Traits and know the pain they have wrought. We hear the Solution and want to see it working...

August 31st Meditation of the Day

Grandchildren of Alcoholics "More and more people are identifying as grandchildren of alcoholics. Technically, these ‘GCoAs' are ACAs. They were raised by parents who passed on the disease of family dysfunction without having alcohol in the home." BRB p. 56,  footnote...

August 30th Meditation of the Day

Tradition Eight  "Sponsorship and Twelfth Step work are free, but the special worker should be paid for his or her good work. All aspects of recovery in general are free." BRB p. 530 We give service from a space of love in ACA so that every adult child seeking...

August 29th Meditation of the Day

Therapeutic Ideals "There are, as well, ways to describe the manifestation of two therapeutic ideals: no excess tension in the body and a neutral reaction to symbolic associations and mental representations of trauma." BRB p. 622 Many of us thought there was no way...

August 28th Meditation of the Day

Boundries "I am more aware of how I overstep my boundaries, and how I try to force things to work the way I want them to work." BRB p. 414 We were vulnerable as children in dysfunctional homes. We experienced no one who was able to set healthy boundaries and maintain...

August 27th Meditation of the Day

Self-Sabotage "I decided the only way to overcome this self sabotage was to integrate my critical parent into my recovery process." BRB p. 207 We tried to ignore our critical inner parent - that compilation of the voices we heard as children and were used to hearing...

August 26th Meditation of the Day

Honesty "With the help of ACA, we are offering our parents fairness as we look at the family system with rigorous honesty. We are looking for the truth so that we can live our own lives with choice and self-confidence. We want to break the cycle of family...

August 25th Meditation of the Day

Acting Out "By working the ACA program, we learn to recognize when we are thinking like a victim or persecutor and to talk about it." BRB p. 9 Since the Laundry List was such an important part of our original identification when we found ACA, we used that mindset (how...

August 24th Meditation of the Day

Survivor "It is my bias that no one deserves to live a life of fear and shame." BRB p. xviii Many ACAs go from blaming, shaming, complaining, and condemning ourselves and others to finally learning to name what is really going on. By doing so, we begin to come out of...

August 23rd Meditation of the Day

Grief as Freedom "Experienced ACA members speak of grief with a sense of serenity rather than with sorrow or resentment." BRB p. 200 When listening to ACAs share at meetings, newcomers may at first only hear the recounting of the childhood events and their effects. If...