“I am more aware of how I overstep my boundaries, and how I try to force things to work the way I want them to work.” BRB p. 414
We were vulnerable as children in dysfunctional homes. We experienced no one who was able to set healthy boundaries and maintain them.
In ACA we learn to see the importance of boundaries by practicing the Steps and by identifying and working on our character defects. We learn to recognize boundaries that have been crossed, including when we do it to others. We feel free when we set new boundaries. Progress happens, one day at a time.
The ACA program also helps us recognize manipulative behaviors, which is usually a companion for those with boundary issues. If we’re the manipulator, we begin to see that our attempts to change others will eventually fail; in the meantime, they’ll only complicate things. As we grow stronger, understanding boundaries places everything in perspective.
To help us stay focused, we look to Step Ten, “Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.” It allows us to inventory our thoughts and actions on a regular basis. This keeps our impulsive natures in check so we recognize boundaries in everyday life.
On this day, as my identity and values become more clear, I will work to become consistent in setting my own boundaries and honoring the boundaries other people set.
Copyright © 2018 by Adult Children
of Alcoholics / Dysfunctional Families
World Service Organization, Inc.
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